Sermon #67 (15th January 2023 at Essex Church / Kensington Unitarians)
I wonder how many among us gathered here this morning – whether in-person, or via zoom – are already familiar with the practice of Spiritual Direction? Perhaps it’s a completely new concept to some, maybe for others it’s something you’d heard of but only had a vague sense of what it’s all about, and I know of at least a few who are seeing Spiritual Directors or who have done so in the past. I can’t quite remember when I first came across the idea but I think it was when I heard of a fellow Unitarian going through the training to become a Spiritual Director about a decade ago. I remember thinking ‘ooh that sounds cool’ and then in the next breath thinking ‘I have no idea what it actually is though’ and having to go and look it up.
Our first reading, by John R. Mabry, which Sonya gave for us earlier, helps to explain what it is: that piece was from a book titled ‘Starting Spiritual Direction’ which is aimed at people who are curious about the possibility of giving it a go. Among the various definitions he gives is this pretty prosaic one: ‘Spiritual Direction is a helping profession in which the director assists the client (or ‘directee’) in their spiritual flourishing’. From the outside it looks much like therapy or counselling – the Director and Directee meet regularly (though typically not quite as frequently as you would with a therapist, maybe once every 4-6 weeks), and the Director listens way more than they speak, as the Directee shares about the goings-on of their life – the key difference is the explicitly spiritual focus and framing of the process. Some people – including Spiritual Directors – feel that the term ‘Direction’ can be a bit misleading as in most cases it’s not particularly directive; the Director isn’t a guru telling you what to do with your life (though there may be some gentle nudging, and if you want more input, Spiritual Directors will usually be willing to suggest some practices to try, or some further reading to look at).
I quite like the definition of Spiritual Direction from Liz Budd Ellman which is on the front of the printed order of service (and which, if you’re joining via zoom, can be found in the full-text of the service on our website). She says: ‘Spiritual direction is a process of accompanying people on a spiritual journey and helping them grow closer to God (or the sacred, the holy, or a higher power). Gradually, as you contemplate, you may begin to recognize God’s presence and grace in your life. Spiritual direction helps people learn how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice, and as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names.’ Words by Liz Budd Ellmann.
There are a number of things I appreciate about that definition but one of them is that it is quite broad and – I think – it is one that you might be able to relate to, to some degree, even if you’re a bit unsure about God-language. I think that last bit chimes pretty well with what I think we’re trying to do here as a congregation: ‘recognising grace in our lives… and learning how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice, and as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names’.
At this point I should fess up, for those who don’t already know, that I trained as a Spiritual Director a few years ago. Please be reassured – I’m not touting for business – we’re not supposed to work with people we already know in other contexts which basically means I don’t do Direction with Unitarians! The reason I mention this though is that I was trained by – and trained alongside – Christians of various stripes: Anglican, Baptist, Methodist, Quaker, a few Evangelicals. And it was reassuring to discover how much we had in common, in terms of our lives, our values, and our spiritual journeys. Even if the details of our faiths differed, in terms of our preferred language, rituals, and traditions, there was a huge amount we could learn from each other, as we all had to do a bit of ‘translation’ back and forth while we spent three years practicing the process of Spiritual Direction on each other.
So if you’re someone who tends to switch off at the first hint of God-language I encourage you to reconsider! Hang on in there and see if you can ‘translate’ to make it work for you. Because this process of Spiritual Direction, and the principles underlying it, can have value for anyone who sees the value in reflecting on their life in the light of some kind of deeper purpose: the value of, as Liz Budd Ellman put it, ‘recognising grace in our lives… and learning how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice, as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names’. Even if that phrase doesn’t grab you, there might be another way of articulating what it is you would like your one wild and precious life to be spent on, what it is that is most meaningful to you, and the process of Spiritual Direction can help you focus on that, and its implications for your life and how you live it.
Having said that: I’m not trying to make the case for you all going out and finding Spiritual Directors! I’m not on commission! Though if it is a thing you would like to try I can make a few suggestions as to where you might find someone suitable to work with. The point of today’s service is more to draw out a few insights from the formal practice of Spiritual Direction which might be more broadly applicable. Although working one-to-one like this is really valuable there are also things we can do by ourselves (or indeed things we can do in a community like this one when we gather to reflect in small groups).
When someone meets with their Spiritual Director, once a month or so – to look at their life as it unfolds, to consider the path they are on, the turns they are taking, perhaps decisions that lie ahead – there are some Big Questions that are always there in the background. And it’s the job of the Director to keep drawing your attention back to these underlying questions, and noticing how they relate to the story of your life as you tell it, and the real-world matters you are wrestling with, in all your everyday concerns. If God-language works for you those underlying questions might be: ‘How are you and God doing right now?’ (as in ‘what’s the state of your relationship with God?’) or ‘How is your prayer life at the moment?’ or ‘Do you sense that God is saying anything to you at this time?’ or ‘Where have you detected God’s presence at work in your life?’ Or if God-language doesn’t work for you then the underlying questions might be something more like: ‘What is making you feel most alive right now?’ or ‘How is the life you are living in tune with your deepest values and your sense of purpose?’ or ‘What do you sense you are being called to do with your one wild and precious life?’
On the spiritual journey, it helps to have some consistent reference point, some ‘North Star’, to guide us as we go – so we can check we’re on track with where we’re meant to be (or at least where we aspire to be) – and to help us discern what our next faithful step along the way might be. For many of the people I trained with, and work with, they are firmly situated in the Christian tradition, and so their reference point or ‘North Star’ is clear: the model for life is the person of Jesus, or perhaps more mystically the Cosmic Christ, and their aim is to deepen their relationship with God. For many mainstream Christians the work of Spiritual Direction is about ‘discipleship’ and how to live their life in a way that embodies their religious commitment to follow Jesus’ teachings and example. Even with this clear starting point, though, there is still a huge amount of discernment for each person to do to work out what that means in practice, and what the implications might be for their day-to-day life choices in a complex world. And if you’re not Christian – or not straightforwardly Christian – you might have to do a bit more preparatory work and discernment to identify what your spiritual reference point, your ‘North Star’, might be. Perhaps you have an inner gang of saints and exemplars – historical or mythical figures – who symbolise what is of ultimate worth for you, who remind you of the highest good in this life, and serve as an inspiration for your own spiritual journey. Or maybe your touchstones are a collection of more abstract philosophical virtues and moral values you want to uphold. Maybe it’s more concrete than that and you have a really strong sense of calling as to the contribution you are meant to be making to humanity during your all-too-brief span on Earth.
Whichever it is, it’s helpful to articulate it, if only to yourself, and touch base with your ‘North Star’ often – you might find it will help you find your way on this messy and complicated journey of life – whether it’s with the support of a professional Spiritual Director, by yourself, or in community, perhaps you could put a date in your diary once a month to check in with yourself (and with God), to come back to some of those Big Questions about life, and reflect on your own ‘spiritual direction’. How are you and God doing? What is your calling in life? Are you living in tune with your values? Where is the Spirit at work in your everyday life? What is making you feel most alive right now?
To close I just want to offer one more echo of those words from Liz Budd Ellman – her description of spiritual direction – but remixed and reframed as a blessing for all of us on this journey of life.
We are people on a spiritual journey.
May we be good travelling companions to each other.
As we wend our way on this path may we grow ever closer to God, to Spirit,
and may we become ever more attuned to the sacred depths of this life that we share.
May we recognize God’s Grace and Life’s Goodness in each day we are given.
And may we learn how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice,
as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names.
May it be so, for the greater good of all. Amen.
Sermon by Jane Blackall
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