{"id":757,"date":"2025-04-01T21:20:55","date_gmt":"2025-04-01T20:20:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=757"},"modified":"2025-04-01T21:20:56","modified_gmt":"2025-04-01T20:20:56","slug":"on-perfection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=757","title":{"rendered":"On Perfection"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Reflection #96 (12th January 2025 at Essex Church \/ Kensington Unitarians)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the front of this morning\u2019s order of service there\u2019s a picture of one of the greatest Olympic moments of my lifetime \u2013 that\u2019s how I remember it, anyway, though I suppose it came along at a formative age for me \u2013 I was only eight years old when Torvill and Dean went to the Sarajevo Winter Olympics and performed their famous ice dancing routine to Ravel\u2019s Bolero. Maybe if you didn\u2019t grow up in Britain in the 80s this won\u2019t mean as much to you \u2013 though Torvill and Dean are still somewhat revered in this country \u2013 I believe they\u2019re now judges on ITV\u2019s \u2018Dancing on Ice\u2019. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Back in 1984 their Olympic performance was watched live by 24 million people here in the UK. They brought home the gold medal, and became the highest scoring figure skaters of all time, gaining perfect marks across the board for artistic impression: 6.0 from every judge. In those days such magic moments weren\u2019t endlessly rehashed as they are now \u2013 everything wasn\u2019t clipped up for social media \u2013 this was well before YouTube \u2013 and in our house we didn\u2019t even have a video recorder until a few years later in 1987 \u2013 and I think this added something to the mythology of it all. There was just this collective memory of a perfect moment from these artist-athletes at the top of their game (of course it is on YouTube now \u2013 I watched it last night \u2013 and I got the shivers all over again.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why am I bringing up Torvill and Dean this morning, you might wonder? Well, back in the day, my dad had an opinion about their performance; more precisely about the record scores they attained. At the time I thought he was just saying this to get on my nerves, but in retrospect I think it was a sincerely held opinion: my dad firmly believed that nobody should ever be awarded 6.0 for anything. In his view, any judge awarding full marks, six out of six, was effectively saying that the dance was perfect, the last word, and nothing could ever be better. And this couldn\u2019t be true. They\u2019d left themselves nowhere to go. As marvellous as the routine was, I think this is what he was saying, you\u2019ve got to allow for the possibility that something even better might be achievable in the future. It really annoyed me at the time but, 40-odd years later, I am ready to grudgingly concede he had a point. Perfection, in this view, is by definition something ultimately unattainable. But still, we humans may find ourselves compelled to reach towards it, to strive for something which is most likely beyond us. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve heard two apparently contradictory readings this morning. In the first, Katherine Morgan Schafler spoke up in defence of perfectionists, misunderstood creatures that they (we?) are. Perfectionism has got a pretty bad name and it\u2019s typically treated as a personality problem that needs to be fixed \u2013 I don\u2019t know how many of us gathered here today would describe ourselves as perfectionists by temperament (tentatively raise your own hand) \u2013 but for some of us, at least some of the time, this perfectionist tendency is a genuine source of stress and anxiety which has a negative impact on our wellbeing \u2013 and I don\u2019t want to be dismissive about that. Yet Schafler argues that perfectionism is \u2018an excellent servant and a terrible master\u2019 \u2013 she does acknowledge its problematic side \u2013 but she also reminds us that its power can be harnessed for the good. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In our second reading, Lindasusan Ullrich quoted Rebecca Solnit, who said \u2018perfection is a stick with which to beat the possible\u2019 (which in turn reminds me of \u2018the perfect is the enemy of the good\u2019). Both of these sayings correctly highlight the way in which perfectionism can lead to paralysis. Sometimes the ideal of perfection we\u2019ve got in our head inhibits us \u2013 we can\u2019t bring ourselves to write on the blank page, or make the first brushstroke, or take our first dance lesson \u2013 as reality can\u2019t possibly live up to this wonderful-yet-imaginary version that can only ever exist in our mind. We might decide to give up, or not even try, knowing we are likely to be disappointed by our own efforts. Or perhaps in fear that we will be judged by other people\u2019s perfectionistic standards. Yet as Ullrich says: \u2018good enough\u2019 is often good enough. And \u2013 in reality \u2013 we are more likely to get better at what we do, closer to the dream of perfection, by just doing the thing. Practicing the art. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a little teaching story which speaks to this idea and that\u2019s really stuck with me. A bit of digging suggests that the story originates in a book called \u2018Art and Fear: Observations on the Perils and Rewards of Artmaking\u2019 by David Bayles and Ted Orland. It goes like this: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A pottery teacher split her class into two halves. To the first half she said, \u201cYou will spend the term studying pottery, planning, designing, and creating your perfect pot. At the end of term, there will be a competition to see whose pot is the best\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To the other half she said, \u201cYou will spend your term making lots and lots (and lots) of pots. Your grade will be based purely on the number of completed pots you finish. At the end of the term, you\u2019ll also have the opportunity to enter your best pot into a competition.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first half of the class threw themselves into their research, planning, and design. Then they set about laboriously creating their one, perfect pot, to enter into the competition. The second half of the class immediately grabbed fistfuls of clay and started churning out pots at a tremendous rate. They made big ones, small ones, simple ones, and intricate ones. Their muscles ached for weeks as they gained the strength needed to throw so many pots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the end of term, as promised, both halves were invited to enter their most perfect pot into the competition, and judges voted on which was best. Once the votes were counted, all of the best pots came from the students that were tasked with quantity. The practice they gained made them significantly better potters than the planners on a quest for a single, perfect pot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What are we to make of this story? For me it ties in with the quote we heard earlier from Georges Roditi: \u2018Behind the word perfection, we should see the verb to perfect, endowing it with the same active meaning: an effort, an endeavour, not something finally accomplished.\u2019 Perfection is a process, a striving, a direction of travel, rather than a destination we arrive at. Perhaps if we approach perfection in this way \u2013 as a practice we need to persistently stick at over the long haul in order to make progress \u2013 perhaps then we can use it to encourage greater aspiration, and spur us on to better things, rather than using it as a stick to beat ourselves with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the piece we heard from Schafler\u2019s book she made reference to several so-called \u2018geniuses\u2019 \u2013 Steve Jobs, Gordon Ramsay, James Cameron \u2013 who are often lauded for their perfectionism. And you might be able to think of many other high-profile figures, current or historic, whose eminence in their field is attributed to a single-minded pursuit of excellence. There are so many good things in this world that only exist because someone strived for mastery and perfection \u2013 pushed themselves \u2013 and I suspect we can all call to mind stories of figures who committed themselves to their cause to such an extreme degree that it caused harm to themselves and others. This is an uncomfortable reality. We are surely glad that their creations \u2013 a sublime symphony or a beautiful painting \u2013 exist as a result of their efforts. Similarly, we might be thrilled and elated by the physical prowess that results in a gold medal or a world cup win for our team; grateful for scientists who have changed the world for the better with their discoveries and inventions; or activists who have brought about social revolutions. But sometimes, we know, their driven-ness can leave a trail of destruction in its wake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Historically, we seem to have collectively \u2013 tacitly \u2013 conceded that this sort of behaviour is \u2018worth it\u2019 when it yields results that we can all admire or benefit from, though recently it seems that public opinion is starting to shift on this somewhat. Many of you will probably be aware of the controversy that surrounded Strictly Come Dancing last year, concerning the training methods that some of the professional ballroom dancers apparently used with their celebrity partners, and the differing views that people had on what was OK and what was not-OK to do in pursuit of perfect performance. And in fact \u2013 this might not be so well-remembered \u2013 but Torvill and Dean themselves were involved in a similar controversy back in the 90s when footage of their training sessions was made public. It\u2019s still a live question, I think \u2013 if sacrifice, suffering, and struggle is necessarily part of this pursuit of perfection \u2013 and I do wonder if it might be \u2013 where do we draw the line and say: \u2018enough \u2013 it\u2019s not worth it\u2019? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Katherine Morgan Schafler helpfully summarises the conundrum that we humans find ourselves in. She writes: \u2018Perfectionism draws on a tension \u2013 wanting what you can\u2019t have \u2013 you want the ideal to be the reality\u2026 The tension of perfectionism emerges from the constant clashing between the two most fundamental aspects of your identity \u2013 you\u2019re a full-of-flaws human with significant limitations \u2013 and you\u2019re a perfect being with unlimited potential. Reconciling the backseat fighting between your limits and your potential is the underlying challenge of perfectionism.\u2019 Words from Schafler. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We speak so often in this church of working towards a better world, building beloved community, and it strikes me that this is a vision of perfection that we\u2019re holding up as something to aspire to. We\u2019re not there yet \u2013 and even if we know we\u2019re unlikely to see that vision realised in our lifetime the idealised vision still has values as something to aim for \u2013 it inspires us to inch closer to that goal. Earlier we sang about \u2018The Church Where Love Lives\u2019 \u2013 do we live up to that vision? Not quite yet. As individuals, and as a community, we\u2019re imperfect. Of course we are. But we lift our gaze higher. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To close I just want to echo some of those words from our meditation \u2013 words from David Aaron \u2013 as a reminder of the sacred context for all our strivings. Let us take this message to heart if we can: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You and I, who are imperfect, struggling in an imperfect world, \nworking toward achieving more perfection, are vehicles \nfor the expression of the dynamic aspect of divine perfection. \n\nWe are those broken vessels living in a world of chaos, \nbut we have a memory of a perfect light, \nwhich we yearn for and strive toward. \n\nGod\u2019s perfection is expressed through imperfect you and me, \nstruggling to improve ourselves and this world together, \nstriving and working hard toward becoming perfect.\n\nAnd may it be so for the greater good of all. Amen. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflection by Jane Blackall<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n