{"id":754,"date":"2025-04-01T21:20:02","date_gmt":"2025-04-01T20:20:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=754"},"modified":"2025-04-01T21:20:03","modified_gmt":"2025-04-01T20:20:03","slug":"ch-ch-ch-changes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=754","title":{"rendered":"Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Mini-Reflection #95 (29th December 2024 at Essex Church \/ Kensington Unitarians)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just a few thoughts from me on this business of making change in our lives \u2013 something that we can do any day, as we heard in one of the earlier readings, but it\u2019s something which many of us particularly focus on at the turn of the calendar year, when New Year\u2019s Resolutions come to mind. I want to preface my remarks by saying \u2013 this is one of those \u2018both-and\u2019 topics \u2013 it\u2019s so often the case that I seem to be saying two apparently contradictory things at once when I stand up here. At least two! Sometimes more. There are two contrary messages that are both true, I reckon, but inevitably they\u2019re in tension with each other: one is a message of self-acceptance, that you are good and worthy and loved just as you are; the other is a message of self-improvement, that there are always things we could pay attention to, do a bit of work on, to change our ways and change our life for the better (perhaps with the hope that any changes we make will have a positive impact on those around us and ripple outwards for the benefit of the wider world). \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Some of you may have heard the saying \u2013 I think I picked this up from Anne Lamott \u2013 the idea that God loves us exactly the way we are\u2026 and loves us too much to let us stay like this. There are parallels with the way in which we might love a baby or a toddler just as they are but still encourage them to learn to walk, and talk, and eventually make their own way in the world). However young, or old, or set-in-our-ways we might be, as this New Year rolls around, we\u2019re still not the finished article. As we heard in the reading that Antony gave earlier, from Jim Sanderson, \u2018It is not human nature to freeze in time, to see ourselves as completed. We are works in progress\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve put some words on the front of today\u2019s order of service from M.J. Ryan, who wrote a book titled \u2018This Year I Will\u2026\u2019, all about how to go about making changes in our lives that stick. She wrote: \u2018I believe that people can change. Not just superficially, or temporarily. I believe that we have the ability within us to truly rearrange our inner landscape and make changes happen within ourselves and our lives. We can stop doing the things that hold us back or cause us suffering and create a life filled with meaning, peace, and ultimately happiness.\u2019 M.J. Ryan. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So in that spirit I invite you to return to the little slip of green paper in your order of service \u2013 and turn it over \u2013 in the meditation we looked back to all the positive changes we\u2019ve already made in our lives in the past \u2013 now I encourage you to look forward and ask: what\u2019s next? Think about all the same prompts I offered in the meditation: old habits you might let go of, or new habits which you might take up; new commitments you might sign up for, or old ones that have run their course; learning new things, focusing on some aspect of personal growth, or even making some great dramatic leap that might change the whole direction of your life! Perhaps you might jot down a whole bunch of thoughts (and you can take your time! You don\u2019t have to commit to something right this minute\u2026 and indeed if you\u2019re coming to our New Year\u2019s mini-retreat this afternoon or on New Year\u2019s Day that\u2019s a perfect opportunity to ponder such questions and more). But perhaps you can just pick one relatively modest, realistic, achievable change to focus on. And back yourself! Affirm your own potential to carry on changing and growing for as long as you live. No matter how things have been in the past \u2013 there is grace \u2013 you can turn a new page and start over. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And as Peter Friedrichs said in that reading I just shared \u2013 perhaps we can keep the serenity prayer in mind \u2013 and I\u2019d suggest we each pray about these changes we want to see in our lives. Not just praying for \u2018the wisdom to know the difference\u2019 \u2013 but praying for guidance and clarity about where to focus our effort and attention, whether we\u2019re \u2018rearranging our inner landscape\u2019 or dealing with some of the nuts-and-bolts practicalities of how we order our daily lives \u2013 what should we prioritise right now, at this particular moment, this step on our life\u2019s journey? Or maybe we need to pray for help, for courage, for strength and endurance, to stay on the path when the going gets tough. Change is not easy. So reach out for help \u2013 to friends \u2013 to God. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in that spirit I want to close with a prayer \u2013 a blessing for the new year \u2013 by Beth Monhollen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this new year, may we leave behind the weight of unfulfilled resolutions, \nof unrealized dreams, and of unrealistic expectations.\n\nMay we unpack the heavy weight of stories that tell us we are unworthy and unlovable.\n\nMay we remember that we each carry inside of us a spark of the Divine.\n\nIn this new year, may we carry kindness, gentleness and hope \nthat hold us through even the hardest days and the most daunting risks.\n\nMay we carry the weight of memory that reminds us of who we are, \nthe weight of spirit that reminds us we are still becoming.\n\nMay we carry the seed of knowledge that teaches us that improvement and growth \naren\u2019t linear and individualistic but are cyclical and communal.\n\nMay we carry the wisdom to seek rest and connection, to lean into mutual care.\n\nMay we carry the certain belief that when we have patterns of thinking and behaving that \nharm ourselves and others, we can seek resources that will help us move towards healing.\n\nMay we carry the knowledge that happiness and success \ntake many shapes and one of those shapes is purpose.\n\nMay we carry purpose lightly, trusting that it changes and evolves and surprises us.\n\nMay we carry curiosity, wonder, and the ability to be surprised.\n\nThis year, may we carry space for all of our flaws, all of our longings, \nand all of our love, remembering that the truly daring adventure of life \nis not to be better-better-best! but to show up wholly, authentically, lovingly as ourselves.\n\nMay we carry these prayers and carry each other into the new year. Amen. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mini-Reflection by Jane Blackall<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n