{"id":742,"date":"2025-04-01T21:14:35","date_gmt":"2025-04-01T20:14:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=742"},"modified":"2025-04-01T21:14:36","modified_gmt":"2025-04-01T20:14:36","slug":"just-a-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=742","title":{"rendered":"Just a Person"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Reflection #91 (20th October 2024 at Essex Church \/ Kensington Unitarians)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I mentioned earlier in the service, the words of my first minister, Art Lester, stuck with me for many years. \u2018Just a Person\u2019. This phrase has come to be a shorthand in my mind for a whole cluster of ideas about that much-misunderstood virtue that we\u2019re exploring today: humility. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Too often, I think, we tend to think of humility in quite a miserable light. If someone were to suggest that we need to show humility it might be taken as saying that we should think less of ourselves, we shouldn\u2019t get ideas above our station, we should get back in our box. We might feel chastised by it. Imagery around humility often shows humble people literally grovelling or making themselves small. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The theologian Ronald Rolheiser describes this common-yet-mistaken view of humility well, I think. He writes: \u2018Humility should never be confused, as it often is, with a wounded self-image, with an excessive reticence, with timidity and fear, or with an overly sensitive self-awareness. Too common is the notion that a humble person is one who is self-effacing to a fault, who deflects praise (even when it\u2019s deserved), who is too shy to trust opening himself or herself in intimacy, or who is so fearful or self-conscious and worried about being shamed so as to never step forward and offer his or her gifts to the community. These can make for a gentle and self-effacing person, but because we are denigrating ourselves when we deny our own giftedness, such humility is false, and deep-down we know it, and so this often makes for someone who nurses some not-so-hidden angers and is prone to being passive aggressive.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Words from Ronald Rolheiser \u2013 a helpful take on what humility is not. But if that\u2019s not it \u2013 what is? The most succinct take on the matter I\u2019ve found comes from Wayne Teasdale \u2013 an interesting character, a monk who combined Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist spirituality \u2013 Wayne Teasdale simply wrote: \u2018Humility is, most fundamentally, a relationship of truth with ourselves.\u2019 And Ronald Rolheiser also made something of the etymological connection between humility and humus \u2013 the earth, the soil, the ground \u2013 when he said \u2018the most humble person you know is the person who\u2019s the most grounded, that is, the person who knows they\u2019re not the centre of the earth but also knows that they aren\u2019t a second-rate piece of dirt either.\u2019 Another take on it is in the words on your order of service (which are also on the website) from Janis Abrahms Spring: \u2018Humility is the disposition to view oneself as basically equal with any other human being even if there are objective differences in physical appearance, wealth, social skills, intelligence, or other resources\u2026 It is the ability to keep one’s talents and accomplishments in perspective, to have a sense of self-acceptance, an understanding of one’s imperfections, and to be free from arrogance and low self-esteem.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps the virtue of humility is one of course-correction \u2013 finding a middle way \u2013 if we\u2019re in danger of becoming either excessively egotistic and self-important OR excessively self-deprecating and lacking in confidence \u2013 the virtue of humility might call us back to this \u2018relationship of truth with ourselves\u2019 that Wayne Teasdale describes. It reminds us that we are no more special \u2013 but crucially no less special \u2013 than anybody else with whom we share this planet. It is a corrective to an overly inflated or an overly depressed view of ourselves and our worth. We\u2019re just a person. But at the same time \u2013 what a thing it is to be a person! \u2013 as Art Lester said, it\u2019s a high calling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know if any of you saw the Wim Wenders film, \u2018Perfect Days\u2019, which came out this year? Absolutely wonderful film. The central character lives a simple life, he works cleaning public toilets in Tokyo, and he is such an extraordinary portrait of humility. He sees all things, all people, as equally important, and he goes about his work with diligence and care, as if it really matters, without really engaging in worldly status games. I can\u2019t do the film justice \u2013 I hope you find a way to see it if you haven\u2019t already \u2013 but it came to mind when I read this piece by a UU minister, Barbara F. Meyers, written in 2007 (I\u2019m going to share an extended extract as I was taken with a number of resonances): <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018When I first began attending a Unitarian Universalist church\u2026 I eagerly soaked in everything new that I was learning. One Sunday I remember distinctly was a lay-led service by a dearly beloved elderly couple who had been members for a long time. They had just been on a pilgrimage to Japan, where they visited representatives of a number of progressive Japanese religions, and their service was a report of their adventures. The religion they spoke of that I particularly remember was a religion named Ittoen founded in 1904. Members of this religion seek to live a life having no possessions and in humble service to others\u2026 their chief religious ritual practice is called Rokuman Gyogan, and consists of humbling oneself by cleaning toilets. They believe this humble act purifies them for the future of the world without conflict.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meyers continues: \u2018There was something so striking about this story that I remember it clearly nearly 20 years later. (We should have all of our sermons remembered for 20 years!) I think it was the idea that doing one of the lowest most humble tasks in life, cleaning toilets, could be a religious act, and that this could prepare us for world peace. At first I thought “You’ve got to be kidding!” Surely, cleaning toilets couldn’t be a central religious ritual for a modern religion! This idea was vastly different from any religious thinking that I had been exposed to. But they weren’t kidding. Doing a lowly task can be part of a religious practice – allowing one to demonstrate humility. I think this was this “radical” idea that struck me so clearly when I first heard it. A person who has humility, a humble person, is generally regarded as unpretentious and modest, someone quiet, self-effacing, understated, someone who doesn’t think or act like he or she is better or more important than others\u2026. A humble person’s self-esteem is an accurate, not over-estimated, not-underestimated view of his or her abilities and worthiness. One can stand one’s ground when challenged, cope with failures, and not be overly proud of one’s successes.\u2019 Words on humility by Barbara F. Meyers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So what does humility require of us? What would it look like if we were to live with humility? If we really believe we are \u2018just a person\u2019 (and so is everyone else) then how might that show up in our behaviours and our interactions with those around us as we go about our daily lives?\n\nRev. Clay Nelson, who was Unitarian minister in Auckland New Zealand, made the observation that \u2018humility understands that the delights, pains and needs of others are as important as our own.\u2019 One insight I take from his words is that we need to cultivate awareness of our impact on other people, and their impact on us too of course, and weigh up our competing needs and preferences. There\u2019s a balance to be struck \u2013 it\u2019s not OK to insist on getting our own way regardless of the cost to others \u2013 but nor is it OK to be a doormat who always gives way to more forceful personalities (or to people who supposedly have a higher social status). I almost want to call it pathological selflessness. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we truly believe that our time, energy, and contributions are worth just as much as other people\u2019s \u2013 no more, no less \u2013 then surely we should honour our agreements with others (as far as humanly possible). This is perhaps a subset of a larger category \u2013 that we should honour the social contract \u2013 not consider ourselves to be too big (or too small) for the rules of social engagement to apply to us, not go looking for reasons why we\u2019re an special exception, why we don\u2019t need to hold up our end of the deal. A classic example of this is timekeeping \u2013 I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve heard various stories, as I have, of big-shot superstars who turn up late to their own gigs, so that fans who have paid a fortune for tickets are faced with dilemmas \u2013 missing the last bus home, facing babysitting dilemmas, or even finding that (when the star eventually shows up) the long-awaited gig ends up being 15 minutes long as the venue pulls the plug (because of a local authority noise curfew that everybody knew about ahead of time). I suppose the assumption is that the superstar sees themselves as more important than the little people and doesn\u2019t care about their impact on others. But I bet most of us can think of situations in our own lives where we\u2019ve been messed around, let down or left hanging \u2013 when people have reneged on commitments, inconvenienced us in ways large or small, apparently for no good reason \u2013 or, if we\u2019re honest, times when we\u2019ve let others down in turn. Humility requires us to keep an eye on this \u2013 to be self-reflective and to take feedback from trusted others \u2013 to keep learning, growing, doing better \u2013 but not getting so mired in critique and self-doubt that we are unable to act or make a mark in the world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I think that\u2019s an important thing to note, in closing: Humility does not mean dismissing your own value, your own capabilities, your own potential. Remember what Wayne Teasdale said: \u2018Humility is, most fundamentally, a relationship of truth with ourselves.\u2019 That includes an honest self-assessment of your gifts as well as your limitations. And some of us may really need to hear that reminder again and again. The reminder that we matter as much as anyone. Don\u2019t think \u2018ah well, nobody will notice\u2019 if you don\u2019t turn up to a gathering, or you don\u2019t step up to contribute to a project, or you don\u2019t speak up when you have something to say. Please don\u2019t sit on the sidelines of life; don\u2019t dismiss the value of whatever contribution, large or small, that is uniquely yours to make. One way or another, we all have a part to play in sustaining our community, and in making the world a better place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to close with a short prayer for humility. These words are adapted from Alex Jensen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spirit of Life, God of All Love, \nwe find you in those humble places.\n\nThe quiet, still spaces where we find\nwe are held in a love greater than ourselves.\n\nYou are the wind in each breath;\nThe fire in each soul; The subtle\nHeartbeat of creation all around us.\n\nYour love is unimposing yet firm and steadfast,\nPresent to all those who would know your peace.\n\nYou challenge us in moments of arrogance and\nMove us to listen deeply when we fail\u2014\nAs we always do\u2014to see the fuller picture.\n\nYou find the gentle words to speak life into us and hold us close\nwhen all else around us and within us feels broken.\nYou remind me that we are loved and saved just as we are.\n\nRemind us of who we truly are. And help us to see you \u2013 \ngrant us the wisdom to listen for you \u2013 in those unlikely places \u2013 \nin the small, humble, everyday moments where you are to be found. Amen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflection by Jane Blackall<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n