{"id":736,"date":"2025-04-01T21:12:10","date_gmt":"2025-04-01T20:12:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=736"},"modified":"2025-04-01T21:12:21","modified_gmt":"2025-04-01T20:12:21","slug":"encouragement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=736","title":{"rendered":"Encouragement"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Mini-Reflection #89 (8th September 2024 at Essex Church \/ Kensington Unitarians)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wanted to include that poem from Brian Bilston (‘Message to the 14-Year-Old Me’<\/a>) to reflect the ambivalence that many people seem to have when it comes to encouragement \u2013 particularly self-encouragement. It plays up to a kind-of British stereotype: a bit self-deprecating, a bit wary of puffing yourself up, perhaps a defence mechanism of not wanting to aim too high or get your hopes up. Looking back at his teenage self, the poet doesn\u2019t wish he could cheer himself on to greater things or build himself up, but instead encourages himself to aspire to a \u2018basic level of competence in a limited number of simple, unremarkable things\u2019. And that\u2019s not a bad approach to life! But in today\u2019s service I want to encourage you to be rather more bold in your encouraging (of self and others). <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

To very slightly paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson: we each need daily praise and encouragement from others to help us live at our best, as we cannot flourish alone. It\u2019s kind-of stating the obvious but we most need encouragement when we are feeling discouraged. And think of the origins of the word \u2013 to give courage, to hearten, to make strong \u2013 it means to inspire with hope \u2013 to build someone up so they can face the day, do what needs to be done, maybe stretch themselves a little (or a lot). And it\u2019s not always obvious who is feeling discouraged. It\u2019s not just the people who are obviously in difficulty. I suspect we all know people who seem to be doing well in life \u2013 who, on the surface, don\u2019t seem to be struggling \u2013 but we never know how much stress other people are dealing with or how much effort it\u2019s taking to keep up appearances. Often those people who are holding it together for others, the ones we rely on most, can feel taken for granted and underappreciated. Everyone needs encouragement. Encouraging words are never wasted and can help us keep going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the first reading today we heard that line of scripture \u2013 the words of St Paul in his letter to the Thessalonians \u2013 \u2018Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.’ And it\u2019s a recurrent theme in his messages to the early church. Part of the very purpose of church, of any such spiritual gathering, is to be a community of mutual encouragement. Encouragement to keep going when times are hard \u2013 as they so often are \u2013 and to cope with whatever life throws at us. Encouragement to stick at a challenging task \u2013 to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off when we face setbacks or apparent failures \u2013 and to try again until we make progress, flourish, and grow. Encouragement to do the things we aren\u2019t sure we can do \u2013 that we fear we might not be up to \u2013 that we might dream of doing, but we lack confidence, and we aren\u2019t sure about making the leap. Encouragement to keep doing the good things we\u2019re already doing \u2013 as acknowledgement of our hard work and achievements \u2013 as an antidote to feeling our efforts are overlooked or undervalued. As Sarah Abell said in the first reading \u2013 let\u2019s take every opportunity to encourage others \u2013 put your affirmations in writing so that people can return to them for a little lift when morale is low \u2013 show your appreciation to strangers, especially people in service jobs, and brighten their day \u2013 and let\u2019s not wait until people have died to say nice things about them! Say it now. And often. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the years I really have experienced this congregation as a community of encouragement \u2013 this is especially evident in our small groups like Heart and Soul I think \u2013 regulars in these groups get to hear about each other\u2019s lives and struggles, hopes and dreams, and check in with each other about how things are going. So much spontaneous encouragement happens in Heart and Soul! And looking back over my last 25 years here there are so many examples I could mention about people \u2013 mostly elders of the congregation \u2013 who have encouraged me in various ways and helped me to flourish and grow. I want to say: Ramona, our warden, is one of the greatest natural encouragers I\u2019ve met and somehow she always manages to lift me up on Sunday mornings no matter what I\u2019m worrying about when I arrive. But I can cast my mind back all the way to Art Lester, who was minister when I first came to Essex Church, I remember him saying when I was in my mid-twenties, \u2018when you train for ministry I\u2019ll be your mentor\u2019. And I\u2019d not said anything to anyone back then \u2013 not even to myself \u2013 about the vaguest inkling of being a minister! I was so cripplingly anxious and shy that it seemed an absurd thought \u2013 something completely out of reach \u2013 but it was a subtle nudge which helped to shift my thinking about what might be possible for me\u2026 eventually. And then I think about Patricia Walker-Hesson, who was one of the great matriarchs of the congregation at that time, she saw how I loved small groups here at church and realised that I would really benefit from going to summer school \u2013 so not only did she keep mentioning it, and putting the application form in my hand, but she arranged funding \u2013 and then she drove me all the way to Hucklow herself. She saw what would be good for me and then encouraged me in practical ways by removing a number of the obstacles that might have stopped me going to this event that changed my life. I\u2019ve got loads of other examples of the encouragement I\u2019ve received here down the years. \nAnd I hope I\u2019ve given out encouragement to others in turn. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often I express encouragement via the medium of pom-poms \u2013 if I ever wish you pom-poms it\u2019s in the sense of being your virtual cheerleader \u2013 standing on the sidelines and cheering you on. That\u2019s why I\u2019ve brought a load of literal pom-poms to church today \u2013 arranged on the table \u2013 and I invite you to take away a pom-pom to keep as a symbol of this community of encouragement you\u2019re part of. Keep it safe and maybe it will be a small comfort for you on days when you\u2019re feeling discouraged. Remember we\u2019re here for you. Indeed we\u2019ve got plenty of pom-poms to spare so you might want to take two \u2013 one to keep \u2013 and one to pass along to someone else who needs it. And if anyone joining us on Zoom today wants a pom-pom let us know in the chat or via email and I\u2019ll save one for you too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mini-Reflection by Jane Blackall<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n