{"id":463,"date":"2021-01-11T11:20:47","date_gmt":"2021-01-11T11:20:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=463"},"modified":"2021-01-11T11:21:27","modified_gmt":"2021-01-11T11:21:27","slug":"help-thanks-wow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=463","title":{"rendered":"Help! Thanks! Wow!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Cute<\/a><\/p>\n

Sermon #46 (10th January 2021 at Essex Church \/ Kensington Unitarians)<\/strong><\/p>\n

The title of today\u2019s service \u2013 \u2018Help! Thanks! Wow!\u2019<\/em> \u2013 is shamelessly nicked from Anne Lamott\u2019s book. It\u2019s subtitled \u2018the three essential prayers\u2019<\/em> and is based on the premise that asking for help, appreciating what is good in our lives, and having a sense of awe at the universe we find ourselves in, these three are vital practices to get us through the day \u2013 and the night \u2013 to help us find our way in life and orient ourselves towards what is most life-giving \u2013 especially when times are hard. And \u2013 I don\u2019t mean to bang on about it \u2013 but times have <\/em>been pretty hard of late, haven\u2019t they?<\/p>\n

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I\u2019m big on prayer \u2013 I guess that\u2019s no great surprise in my line of work \u2013 but I am. At least in theory\u2026 but as with so many things in life, I confess, my actual prayer practice has been a bit hit-and-miss over the years. However, if there\u2019s one positive thing I can say about the experience of living through 2020, it\u2019s that it certainly pushed me into praying like never before. There\u2019s nothing quite like that sense of disorientation that came with the world being upturned \u2013 the sudden sense of vulnerability, helplessness and lack of control \u2013 to make us acutely aware of our need to reach out for help from beyond. And there are many losses and upheavals in our lives that can take us to such hard places.<\/p>\n

Anne Lamott has this to say on the prayerful cry that often arises in such desperate moments:<\/p>\n

\u2018When my friends and I have run out of good ideas on how to fix the unfixable, when we finally stop trying to heal our own sick, stressed minds with our sick, stressed minds, when we are truly at the end of our rope and just done, we all say the same prayer. We say, \u201cHelp.\u201d We say, Help, this is really all too much, or I am going slowly crazy, or I can\u2019t do this, or I can\u2019t stop doing this, or I can\u2019t feel anything. Or, Help, he is going to leave me, or I have no life, or I hate the one I\u2019ve created, or I forgot to have a life, or I forgot to pay attention as it scrolled by\u2026 Most good, honest prayers remind me that I am not in charge, that I cannot fix anything much, and that I open myself to being helped by something, some force, some friends, some something. These prayers say \u201cDear Some Something, I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m doing. I can\u2019t see where I\u2019m going. I\u2019m getting more lost, more afraid, more tightly clenched. Help\u201d.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

So when we\u2019re in a bad way, a tight spot, we might just find that prayer arises spontaneously. But how about cultivating a prayer practice intentionally? Making it an integrated part of our everyday life instead of something we only turn to as a last resort when things are desperate? In most religious traditions prayer, understood as communication with God, is central to the life of faith but \u2013 in my experience \u2013 Unitarians can sometimes seem to be a bit ambivalent about it. We pray, collectively, in our services \u2013 especially those of us who attend our regular \u2018Heart and Soul\u2019 spiritual gatherings which are really a Unitarian prayer group in disguise \u2013 and it may well be that many of us do have our own prayer practices but it\u2019s not something we talk about much. Sometimes our \u2013 laudable \u2013 commitment to reason leaves us reluctant to wholeheartedly enter into prayer when we\u2019re not sure who it is we\u2019re praying to, or what it is we\u2019re even doing, or why. It can leave us praying-with-the-handbrake-on, emotionally speaking, and not fully engaged.<\/p>\n

If this sort of reservation about prayer resonates with you, perhaps the opening words of Anne Lamott\u2019s book, the prelude which she titles \u2018Prayer 101\u2019, might be helpful:<\/p>\n

\u2018You may be wondering what I even mean when I use the word \u201cprayer\u201d. Prayer is\u2026 communication from the heart to that which surpasses understanding. Let\u2019s say it is communication from one\u2019s heart to God. Or\u2026 to the Good, the force that is beyond our comprehension but that in our pain or supplication or relief we don\u2019t need to define or have proof of or any established contact with. Let\u2019s say it is what the Greeks called the Really Real, what lies within us, beyond the scrim of our values, positions, convictions and wounds. Or let\u2019s say it is a cry from deep within to Life or Love, with capital L\u2019s\u2026 let\u2019s not get bogged down in whom or what we pray to\u2026 Prayer is us reaching out to something having to do with the eternal, with vitality, intelligence, kindness, even when we are at our most utterly doomed and sceptical. God [however we understand \u2018God\u2019] can handle honesty, and prayer begins an honest conversation\u2026 It is us reaching out to be heard, hoping to be found by a light and warmth in the world, instead of darkness and cold.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Or even simpler than that, perhaps we can understand prayer in the sense that we heard about in the reflection that Chlo\u00eb read for us earlier by UU minister Vanessa Rush Southern. The purpose of prayer, on this account, is to \u2018put our hearts in the right place\u2019<\/em>. And what does that look like? Well, the different ways we might pray are almost limitless \u2013we can be silent \u2013 or speak or chant \u2013 or write or draw \u2013 or pray with our whole body \u2013 we can pray alone or together \u2013 with rituals, like candle-lighting \u2013 spontaneously or by rote. Sometimes we can get snagged on one particular idea of what prayer is \u2018supposed\u2019 to look like, but there can be a joy in experimenting, being playful, and challenging ourselves to mix it up a bit.<\/p>\n

Whatever form it takes, perhaps there\u2019s a common thread of helping to shift our perspective \u2013 you could think of it as getting in touch with a \u2018God\u2019s Eye View\u2019 of your life and the life of the world \u2013 tuning in to some kind of Universal Consciousness \u2013 or connecting with your own inner wisdom. Prayer is a practice that can help us shift ourselves out of everyday autopilot mode, and into a way of being that\u2019s a bit more intentional, re-aligned with our deeper purpose and values. When we\u2019re feeling a bit lost, or adrift, or stuck \u2013 all of which can happen quite often, I find \u2013 prayer might just remind us who we are, and whose we are, and what matters most of all in life.<\/p>\n

It\u2019d be remiss of me to get all the way through a service on prayer without at least giving a respectful tip of the hat to this little book, \u2018Simply Pray\u2019 <\/em>by UU minister Erik Walker Wikstrom, which I\u2019ve been banging on about for well over a decade now. The author puts aside those thorny questions of \u2018who are we praying to?\u2019<\/em> \u2013 that\u2019s why the book\u2019s called \u2018Simply Pray\u2019<\/em> \u2013 his is very much a \u2018just do it\u2019<\/em> approach \u2013 on the basis that the practice of prayer has value even if it ultimately turns out that the only person who hears our prayers is us (or, in the case of communal prayers, there is worth in the acknowledgement of our shared human condition).<\/p>\n

Having carried out a comparative study of prayer practices in several major faith traditions Wikstrom concludes that there are four main strands of prayer that are common to all. He calls them \u2018Naming, Knowing, Listening, and Loving\u2019 <\/em>\u2013 and these are terms that will be quite familiar to anyone who\u2019s ever been to one of our Heart and Soul gatherings \u2013 as it\u2019s the structure we\u2019ve been using here for many years now to pray together as a group (Thanks Erik!) But I wanted to mention them today as \u2013 I reckon \u2013 they make a pretty good starting point for anyone wanting to experiment with a particularly Unitarian-friendly personal prayer practice. You might try sitting in bed last thing at night, or first thing in the morning, any quiet moment you can claim really, and just giving yourself ten minutes to go through the four strands of prayer \u2013 in your mind, in your journal, or spoken out loud \u2013 maybe together with someone you live with.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll just briefly talk you through the meaning of \u2018Naming, Knowing, Listening and Loving\u2019<\/em> in case you want to try it out for yourself, but I do recommend the book (or coming to Heart and Soul!) Naming prayer is simply a gratitude practice \u2013 a mixture of Anne Lamott\u2019s \u2018Thanks!\u2019 and \u2018Wow!\u2019 \u2013 reviewing your day and noticing what\u2019s been good \u2013 whether that\u2019s rather humble everyday pleasures or awe-inspiring moments of amazement at the cosmos and the wonder of creation. Knowing prayer is a practice of honest self-reflection \u2013 reviewing your own actions and attitudes \u2013 noticing where you did well, where you made mistakes \u2013 seeking guidance to put things right. Listening prayer is simply contemplative stillness \u2013 \u2018a silence into which another voice may speak\u2019<\/em>. Loving prayer is bringing our awareness to the needs of others who are struggling and suffering, both close to home and around the globe, and expressing our compassion and hopes for them. Naming, Knowing, Listening, and Loving. There are many ways to pray but that\u2019s not a bad start.<\/p>\n

In a way, there\u2019s simultaneously too much to say and nothing useful that can be said about prayer. We could have services for weeks and weeks exploring different angles (and I’m up for that)\u2026 but nothing I can tell you is an adequate substitute for getting your feet wet. So I\u2019m going to close with some words of encouragement from Martin Shaw of the West Country School of Myth and Story. He says:<\/p>\n

\u2018Become a prayer-maker. Why? Because what you face in your life is bigger than you can handle. It is. Go to a place with shadows and privacy, and just start talking. There is some ancient Friend that wants to hear from you. No more dogma than that. Use your simple, holy, words. Then sit. Listen. Go for a walk. Let in. Then you fight like a lion for what you can affect, and you surrender the rest.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

How else could I end but: Amen.<\/p>\n

Sermon by Jane Blackall<\/strong><\/p>\n

An audio recording of this sermon is available:<\/strong><\/p>\n\nhttps:\/\/www.kensington-unitarians.org.uk\/pod2011\/KU_jane.blackall_zoom_sermon_10.01.21.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n

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A video recording of this sermon is available:<\/strong><\/p>\n