{"id":432,"date":"2020-08-28T14:11:30","date_gmt":"2020-08-28T13:11:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=432"},"modified":"2020-08-28T14:15:33","modified_gmt":"2020-08-28T13:15:33","slug":"loss-and-liberation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=432","title":{"rendered":"Loss and Liberation"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"149879504_s\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Sermon #42 (26th July 2020 at Essex Church \/ Kensington Unitarians)<\/strong><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t need me to tell you this but: we\u2019re living in strange times, aren\u2019t we? Every life includes some \u2013 many \u2013 unexpected and often unwanted events. In a way, that is normality, for life to not quite go as we expected, or hoped. But over the last few months many of our lives have been turned upside down. <\/p>\n

This time of pandemic we find ourselves in has surely left no life entirely untouched (even if it hasn\u2019t yet hit us close to home). The impact of this virus is being felt in many ways: Many of us have seen our future plans (both short- and long-term) evaporate overnight. Some have lost their lives. Others have lost loved ones. Many have suffered debilitating health problems (and the long-term effects of the virus are not yet fully known). Many have lost jobs and security \u2013 whole industries are in suspended animation \u2013 with no sense of how long it will last and what will survive on the far side. Some have been stuck at home for months now, shielding, due to underlying health conditions, and have no idea when it will be truly safe for them to emerge. Even for those who do feel able to get out and about (in a socially distanced way) \u2013 social lives, love lives, family lives, many of our opportunities to pursue life\u2019s passions \u2013 all these things that are central to human flourishing have been interrupted \u2013 and our collective wellbeing, our mental and physical health, is suffering. <\/p>\n

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Our lives have been disrupted in innumerable ways. It\u2019s been a cascade of loss. (and, of course, there\u2019s no shortage of loss in the average life anyway; many of life\u2019s losses that would have been happening anyway, without Covid-19, haven\u2019t just gone away). Everywhere you look, people are grieving, and often they\u2019re \u2013 we\u2019re \u2013 not even aware of it. This is something I wanted us to stop and acknowledge together in this morning\u2019s service. It seems important, to me, that we face all this loss \u2013 and name it \u2013 and the grief that results. <\/p>\n

Lots has been written over the years about the \u2018Stages of Grief\u2019 \u2013 a model that\u2019s most associated with Elisabeth K\u00fcbler-Ross \u2013 and which has been critiqued and adapted a bit by others over the years. As I understand it these are phases which we might expect to go through, emotionally, in response to any sort of loss, but not in a particularly linear way. As we grapple with loss \u2013 and particularly when we\u2019re dealing with an avalanche of losses \u2013
\nwe might well loop through the various stages, or linger in one for longer, and double back. Originally the \u2018Five Stages\u2019 were \u2018denial\u2019, \u2018anger\u2019, \u2018bargaining\u2019, \u2018depression\u2019 and \u2018acceptance.\u2019 Since then others have added \u2018shock\u2019, \u2018testing\u2019 and \u2018making meaning\u2019 as additional stages. <\/p>\n

Shock. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Testing. Acceptance. Meaning-Making. <\/p>\n

I think I\u2019ve seen most of those grief-responses in myself, and in many of those around me, over the last four or five months, as we\u2019ve all been affected by one loss after the other. Even those who are relatively lucky \u2013 who are in good health, and financially secure, who were safe in lockdown with ones they love, or who relished the time of solitude \u2013 even those people have had to adjust to an incredible amount of uncertainty and change this year (and we\u2019re not done yet; not by a long chalk). For all but the most oblivious, it\u2019s hard going. And something that\u2019s become increasingly apparent to me as the weeks pass is that, at any given moment, we\u2019re all likely to be in different places in those \u2018Stages of Grief\u2019 (and going round the cycle again as new waves of loss come along to knock us off balance). <\/p>\n

If some are in \u2018acceptance\u2019 or \u2018meaning-making\u2019, while others are in \u2018denial\u2019 or \u2018anger\u2019, it can lead to clashes, or at least some quite uncomfortable conversations between us. Everybody\u2019s seeing the situation somewhat differently, making different risk assessments, and these emotional states influence our decisions at least as much as any rational factors do. Yet all these judgements we make individually have an impact on everybody else \u2013 that\u2019s always been true, of course \u2013 but our interconnectedness has never been more apparent. As lockdown eases, and we are largely being left to our own devices, to come to our own conclusions about what\u2019s safe-enough, these differences in outlook may be hard to navigate. Perhaps an awareness, a keeping-in-mind, of the loss and grief that we\u2019re all going through \u2013 particularly an awareness of where we are in those stages of grief in any given moment \u2013 might help us to be a bit wiser, and more compassionate, towards ourselves and others alike.<\/p>\n

Covid-19 is a global catastrophe which has, already, brought huge turmoil, suffering and loss. We\u2019re in a situation that none of us would have chosen \u2013 it is clearly a bad thing. And yet.<\/em> In throwing everything up in the air it has, perhaps, caused some constructive disruption too. In many spheres of life, it seems, customs and practices that we thought could never change \u2013 \u201cthe way we\u2019ve always done things\u201d \u2013 has had to be chucked out of the window overnight. Of course in some cases this has been distressing, even traumatic. But in others, it\u2019s liberating. <\/p>\n

We\u2019ve had to adapt incredibly fast as individuals, communities, institutions, and societies. And some have done so more successfully than others, for various reasons, perhaps often to do with the degree of support and resources that has been made available to facilitate such change. There\u2019s a lot of inertia, it seems, in human systems. Once we get set up to do things a certain way, as long as it works well-enough, then we\u2019re often at full stretch just keeping plates spinning. There might be a better way of doing things just-over-the-horizon but we never seem to have the spare capacity to reach for it, to experiment, because we\u2019ve got to keep the show on the road. <\/p>\n

I\u2019ll say it again: Covid-19, obviously, is a catastrophe, and a situation we would not have chosen. Yet here we are. And this moment, terrible as it is, could present us with opportunities for transformation, and liberation, as individuals, communities, and societies. It could be showing us that we have a shot at the sort of collective change we might\u2019ve thought impossible. It could just give us the sort of kick up the bum which we could use to spur ourselves into action. <\/p>\n

The very fact that we\u2019re gathered on Zoom this morning is an example of this. In a relatively short period of time we\u2019ve switched to meeting online. Now, I know, for many if not most of us this is \u2018not as good as the real thing\u2019. But for some \u2013 including some here today, I\u2019m sure \u2013 this form of gathering has enabled participation in a Unitarian community where it just wasn\u2019t possible at all before. Since the start of lockdown I\u2019ve been running our Heart and Soul spiritual gatherings online. Well over 100 people have taken part so far. In doing this I\u2019ve heard from people all over the world who were geographically isolated, or chronically ill, or just overwhelmed with life\u2019s demands, or too anxious or shy to come in person \u2013 and now they\u2019re able to join us. Even amongst those of us who regularly met in person at the church in Kensington \u2013 I\u2019d say some of our online gatherings have unexpectedly enabled deeper bonds to form. These are good things that we might never have got round to \u2013 or at least not for a long while \u2013 without everything being turned on its head by Covid-19. And I sincerely hope that we\u2019ll continue to offer a lot of these online offerings, even when it is safe for us to meet again. <\/p>\n

These new ways of \u2018doing church\u2019 are unexpected gifts that have come out of catastrophe. Think about our purpose as a community. It isn\u2019t really \u2018to gather for an hour on Sundays at 11am in a certain building on Palace Gardens Terrace\u2019 (as much as we love doing that). Our purpose is something more like \u2018to build a better world\u2019 or \u2018the kingdom of heaven\u2019 or \u2018a vision of love and justice\u2019 \u2013 and there are a lot of different ways in which we can go about that \u2013 both now while we\u2019re scattered and in the future when we\u2019re able to meet up again. In a way these terrible times have liberated us to think differently about what we\u2019re here for and realise that we don\u2019t have to do it in exactly the way we\u2019ve always done it in the past. <\/p>\n

And maybe you\u2019re considering some of the same questions in your own individual lives too. The future isn\u2019t going to be as we expected, imagined, or hoped \u2013 but HERE WE ARE \u2013 so now what? For now, at least, we are STILL HERE \u2013 so what is required of us? Perhaps a certain responsiveness, adaptability, agility in the face of uncertainty and disruption. [This doesn\u2019t come naturally to me, I\u2019m slow to change, and to grieve the losses it entails.] We don\u2019t know what\u2019s next but \u2013 as we\u2019re still here \u2013 we might have the power to shape it. And until we let go of \u2013 or at least loosen our grip on \u2013 \u201cwanting our old lives back\u201d I reckon it will be hard for us to reach out for the new life and new possibilities that still await us. <\/p>\n

As David Blanchard noted at the end of his piece, \u2018The Vase\u2019, which Jeannene read earlier: \u201cFrom an unwanted event came an invitation to freedom. It doesn\u2019t always work that way, but this story is a reminder that it\u2019s possible. It\u2019s possible for disappointment to open doors we had previously been afraid to enter.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

In the face of all these unexpected and unwelcome losses, we need to grieve and lament \u2013 and we need to know that\u2019s not a one-time thing but a cycle we\u2019ll go round again and again \u2013 ultimately there may come a time when we accept the reality of the situation we find ourselves in (although it\u2019s not what we thought we signed up for, this is how it\u2019s going to be for the long haul, we\u2019re not going to go \u201cback to normal\u201d, and we need to find a new way onward as best we can). <\/p>\n

In this potentially transformative moment, let us cultivate awareness of what\u2019s still good in the now, what we can be grateful for, and build on \u2013 and look ahead, with hope and purpose, towards a vision of what\u2019s still possible \u2013 the chance we have to help bring about the better world that we dream of. <\/p>\n

On the other side of all this loss, just waiting, there may yet be a liberation. May it be so, for the greater good of all. Amen.<\/p>\n

Sermon by Jane Blackall<\/strong><\/p>\n

An audio recording of this sermon is available:<\/strong><\/p>\n\nhttps:\/\/www.kensington-unitarians.org.uk\/pod2011\/KU_jane.blackall_zoom_sermon_26.07.20.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n

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A video recording of this sermon is available:<\/strong><\/p>\n