{"id":207,"date":"2016-01-12T14:24:41","date_gmt":"2016-01-12T14:24:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=207"},"modified":"2016-04-04T10:29:19","modified_gmt":"2016-04-04T09:29:19","slug":"bothand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/?p=207","title":{"rendered":"Both\/And"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"bothand\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Sermon #16 (10th January 2016\u00a0at Essex Church \/ Kensington Unitarians)\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

We don\u2019t have to look very hard to find examples of either\/or thinking. It sometimes seems to be the dominant mode of operation in the world around us. There is, perhaps, a default tendency to try and make sense of a complex and confusing world by simplifying, segregating, dividing everything up into neat categories, by polarising issues and debates, by identifying \u2018them\u2019 and \u2018us\u2019.<\/p>\n

There is also a great temptation to divide the world into goodies versus baddies \u2013 I know this is a temptation I give in to very readily as I think of certain politicians \u2013 but ultimately the consequences of this sort of thinking can be pretty grim. Just think of the words used many times throughout history, but most famously in our time by George W. Bush: \u2018you\u2019re either with us, or against us\u2019. And think about where that sort of outlook tends to lead us.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Our media seems to prefer simple narratives, with no ambiguity, complexity, or contradiction\u00a0(and it seems likely that this preference has influenced our politics and public discourse).\u00a0One example that comes to mind is the way in which new scientific findings, \u00a0first published in technical journals full of caution and nuance, buts and maybes, are often blown up and reduced to eye-catching and panic-inducing headlines screaming\u00a0from the front of a certain shameless newspaper \u2013 you know the sort of thing \u2013 \u2018now eating chips gives you foot-and-mouth disease\u2019 (or something like that). Something that disregards any uncertainty that there might be the original findings.<\/p>\n

We know though, don\u2019t we, that in general life is not like that. It\u2019s rarely that simple. Even scientists are often dealing with probabilities and with data that is ambiguous. Life\u2019s most pressing questions rarely admit clear answers, laid out in black-and-white.\u00a0We all glean scraps of truth and insight from here and there and make what we can of them.<\/p>\n

As we heard in the reading from Richard Holloway earlier on, one of the defining features of us liberal religious types is that we can \u201chear two tunes at once\u201d, we can be conscious of two sets of ideas which seem to be equally valid and justified, which both contain valuable truths, yet which also contain apparent contradictions.<\/p>\n

Some of you may already be familiar with the concept of \u201ccognitive dissonance\u201d. We all hold all sorts of ideas and beliefs about ourselves and about the world. When two of our ideas clash, and a discrepancy within us becomes apparent to us, when it seems that two of our own personal beliefs contradict each other,\u00a0it results in an unpleasant state of tension, which is known as cognitive dissonance. And because this sensation of cognitive dissonance, this state of tension,\u00a0is so psychologically intolerable, we are highly motivated to make it go away. It\u2019s said that in our haste to make the bad feeling go away we are often led to exhibit some quite irrational or self-defeating behaviour. And one way of making cognitive dissonance go away \u2013 an easy way out, but a way that can be very costly to us \u2013 is just to ditch one of the apparently contradictory beliefs in favour of the other. That\u2019s a quick fix. Or to uncritically take sides in a dispute. This is the either\/or way of thinking:\u00a0You can\u2019t have it both ways. They can\u2019t both be right so something\u2019s got to give.<\/p>\n

However, as you\u2019ve probably gathered by now, I\u2019m not having that. The point of today\u2019s service is to speak up for the \u2018both\/and\u2019 approach.\u00a0There\u2019s so much in our culture that tries to suggest that \u2018either\/or\u2019 is the only way to be. Yet it is often possible to try and resolve apparent conflicts and contradictions\u00a0by taking a \u2018both\/and\u2019 perspective which tries to look for the bigger picture. \u00a0It may well be that there is truth or worth or goodness on both sides and we are bound to lose out in some way if we force a choice when we don\u2019t actually need to.<\/p>\n

Amy Zucker Morgenstern says \u2018As [Unitarians], we inherit a great legacy from generations of people who heard all the \u201cNOs\u201d of either\/or thinking and responded with a both\/and, affirming, \u201cWhy not?\u201d\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

This preference for both\/and thinking does indeed seem to be quite key for Unitarians. I suspect that many of us here today might have ended up in a Unitarian community at least in part because of a feeling of unease with the clear-cut certainty that we tend to associate with some forms of religion (and indeed with the certainty of the anti-religious, in these days of the new atheism). [In the spirit of both-and-ness I should note that this is a bit of a caricature of two quite fundamentalist positions; there are thoughtful and non-dogmatic people in most traditions]. However, we liberal religious types have a particular commitment to be bridge-builders\u2026\u00a0and it\u2019s worth acknowledging that this can be quite a hard place to be. You can end up being criticised by people on both sides of the (apparent) divide. But \u2018both\/and\u2019 is, in itself, a reconciling, peace-building mentality.<\/p>\n

The both\/and approach is not just about abstract ideas and religious beliefs, of course. \u00a0It can be applied to our everyday experiences: our emotions, and even our identities.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s think about some apparent contradictions we might experience in our emotional lives. We might love someone deeply and unreservedly\u2026.\u00a0and yet in a moment find them utterly incomprehensible and exasperating. Both the love and the exasperation can co-exist. \u00a0They are both real and true and do not cancel each other out. \u00a0Or we might be in the midst of deep sadness and grief\u2026 \u00a0and then experience an unexpected moment of hilarity at some absurd situation. Both the sadness and the hilarity can co-exist. Neither one denies the reality or sincerity of the other. Life just keeps on rolling and we don\u2019t get a chance to deal with our feelings one at a time.<\/p>\n

Whenever we are presented with an apparently binary choice in life, \u2018you can have this or you can have that\u2019, or \u2018you can be this or you can be that\u2019, we often can choose to look beyond the binary, if we need to, and ask if there are any other possibilities that don\u2019t force us into choosing one or the other. When it comes to questions of identity it\u2019s perhaps not so much about us making a choice<\/em> to be neither this nor that, but about finding the words to express the underlying reality that already exists. Amy Zucker Morgenstern spoke of her realisation that there were other possibilities\u00a0beyond heterosexual and homosexual, and she eventually identified as bisexual. \u00a0And increasingly we hear the voices of people who identify as having non-binary gender, \u00a0that is, their gender does not fit neatly within the conventional categories of male or female. In an \u2018either\/or\u2019 world these \u2018both\/and\u2019 identities are often marginalised or invisible.<\/p>\n

I found these words from Angeles Arrien on the subject to be helpful:<\/p>\n

\u2018[In our later years]\u2026we will be rigorously challenged to transform opposition into paradox. The essential task is to allow all sides of an issue, or pairs of opposites, to exist in equal dignity and worth until the hidden unity is revealed. This is our initiation into the embodiment of wisdom, the entry point\u00a0<\/em>into spiritual maturation and personal transformation. When we shift our perspective to look beyond dualities, opposites and polarities, we can simultaneously consider many diverse options and possibilities\u2026 in our later years it becomes imperative to increase our capacity to hold creative tension, allowing far greater and more inclusive solutions and options to emerge. By befriending and strengthening our capacity to hold paradox, we can explore the realm of deep spiritual growth.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Creative tension is an unavoidable feature of \u2018both\/and\u2019 thinking. It\u2019s not an easy state to be in but it can keep our thoughts open and alive, it can yield new insights and possibilities, and occasionally lead to win-win situations. [I should also note in passing \u2013 as Amy Zucker Morgenstern pointed out \u2013 that we need to be alert to the limits of \u2018both\/and\u2019 thinking and recognise those situations where for the sake of justice we do need to take a particular side and take action.] We need to find honourable ways to live with ambiguity, complexity and contradiction, to approach our finite and somewhat baffling lives with a bit of curiosity and humility, and do our best to integrate the apparent contradictions we trip over along the way. We\u2019re never going to have it all worked out.<\/p>\n

In that spirit, I\u2019ll conclude with the words of Barry Lopez, which are also on the front of your order of service: \u2018One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once, life would collapse. There are simply no definitive answers to some of the great pressing questions. You just continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.\u2019<\/em>\u00a0 Amen.<\/p>\n

Sermon by Jane Blackall<\/strong><\/p>\n

An audio version of this sermon is available:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\nhttp:\/\/www.kensington-unitarians.org.uk\/pod2011\/KU_jane.blackall_sermon_10.01.16.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sermon #16 (10th January 2016\u00a0at Essex Church \/ Kensington Unitarians)\u00a0 We don\u2019t have to look very hard to find examples of either\/or thinking. It sometimes seems to be the dominant mode of operation in the world around us. There is,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=207"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":233,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207\/revisions\/233"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=207"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=207"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebelrebel.org.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=207"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}